On a lighter note.
With all of the recent changes in communication policies I am pleased to help roll out the newest SAR specific codes. Since 10 codes have been removed from our culture a committee has decided to go with 12 codes. I hope these help with your future operations.
12-01 Be advised, your GPS coordinates place you in Uraguay.
12-02 Your radio is worthless. Set it on fire, make smoke signals.
12-03 Have found subject. Please advise us of our location.
12-04 Subject insists on being rescued by opposite sex.
12-05 Subject demands rescuers bathe before approaching further.
12-06 Subject has stolen litter and is tobogganing down hill.
12-07 Subject has obviously never been within 100 miles of this &^%$# place.
12-08 Subject is begging not to be put back in litter a third time.
12-09A What was your last message?
12-09B I was asking you what your last message was.
12-09C Well, I asked you first.
12-10 We've kicked over a wasp nest and are now 4 miles from last location.
12-11 Searcher stumbled into old cesspool. Send fire hose.
12-12 Searcher carried away by mosquitos. Do you wish direction of travel?
12-13 Searcher hurled chunks in helicopter. Team bailing out.
12-14 Flare away.
12-14A Flare away. Scratch one helicopter.
12-14B Flare away. However, car window was rolled up.
12-15 Is this a sketch of the subject, or a drawing of Mr. Potatohead?
12-16 _________ is picking on me.
12-16A I was not! __________ started it.
12-16B Not!
12-16C Did so!
12-19 Sure, this photocopied, enlarged, scanned, and faxed driver's
license picture is perfectly clear.
12-20 "Here" is not an adequate location -- please elaborate.
12-21 If I knew where I was, I wouldn't need you to bring me a map, would I?
12-22 Witness reports seeing subject enter gingerbread house.
12-24 The ELT beacon is directly south, west, and north of us.
12-25 Our computer-generated map only shows zip codes.